Felt Sense Knowing v. Logical Knowing
You and your friend are trying to decide what you want for dinner - sushi or tacos. You both are torn yet open to either option so you decide to flip a coin and let heads or tails decide where you will be dining. The coin reads “heads” as it settles, the decision has landed on tacos. Yet you immediately know that the answer doesn’t sit right with you for some reason. Maybe you feel a dropping in your stomach or notice your shoulders tensing slightly - what your gut is telling you is that you don’t want tacos, you actually wanted sushi.
This is a silly example of what is called felt sense knowing. Sure, logically and cognitively you know that either meal option would be satisfying and fill you up, but sometimes our bodies know more about what we want/need than our heads do.
Another example:
Let’s say I have a fear of heights. When I am driving across the Bay Bridge, a common trigger for this fear, I can logically know and repeatedly remind myself that I am safe — I have my driver’s license, the bridge was built by people who are skilled and know what they were doing, my car was just serviced last month and is functioning safely — yet, as I drive further across the bridge, my hands are shaking and my heart is beating increasingly fast. My felt sense of this experience is definitely not in agreement with my logical brain.
By the time I get to my destination, my nervous system is fully activated. To make matters worse, my inner critic jumps in saying, “You are such a baby!” and asking myself, “Why do I always make such a big deal out of such little things?! What is wrong with me?”
Sometimes there is a disconnect between these two important parts of ourselves due to a history of trauma. The felt sense experience cannot just be overridden by cognitive affirmations and a PMA.
So how can we get our logical knowing and felt sense knowing on the same page? In the example of driving across the bridge, I am clearly activated and my body is feeling unsafe no matter how many times I tell myself to calm down and that everything is fine. Some tools to increase a felt sense of safety:
Place a hand on your heart and/or on your belly (if this feels comfortable & accessible) take a few moments to notice your hand feeling your chest and your chest feeling your hand. Maybe you imagine a comforting word or two that your hand is communicating to the afraid parts (i.e. “it’s okay”, “you are going to get through this”, “you are safe”, “I am here with you”). This is a sweet and simple way to practice somatic self-soothing.
Practice 2:1 breathing! Breathing out for twice as long as your inhale is a great way to activate your parasympathetic nervous system and bring you down from a place of panic. Inhale for 2 seconds, hold for 2, exhale for 4 seconds (or inhale for 3 seconds, hold for 3, exhale for 3 seconds…etc.). Repeat this for at least three rounds and notice if anything has shifted.
Orient to the present moment. Trauma has the ability to make the past present. Everyday things in the present moment can trigger us and bring back all of the emotions or somatic sensations from a time when you were quite literally not safe. Remind yourself somatically that you are here now. Take in the environment around you - turning your neck and head… looking up, down, and side-to-side with your eyes. The process of taking in more information from our environment can help to differentiate being in danger versus being triggered.
Are there somatic tools you use that are helpful when your nervous system is activated? Are there topics you would like to learn more about? Feel free to email me or comment below. Thanks for reading!